A Meeting of the Minds?

Silly me.

I actually thought going to law school meant the level of professionalism would be higher than in undergrad. What a naive assumption on my part. Won't happen again.

promise.

Perhaps this is such a shocking sentiment coming straight from the Baylor bubble, (and when I say straight I mean straight.from.graduation. I'm mourning the loss of one final "That Good 'Ole Baylor Line" like you wouldn't believe) but there is more to this theory than my sudden lack of proximity to live bears.

At face value, MSU and Baylor could be called similar: both have squirrels (Baylor's are fluffy and cute. MSU's are mangy, red, and psycho), both have brick buildings (Baylor's have the additional aesthetic of spires), both have rivers running through campus (The Brazos only wishes it were as legit as the one at MSU), and both are beautifully green (I know my tuition dollars were well spent on landscapers, and am enjoying the natural dense forest paths of the north).

Yet, the culture shock goes far beyond Floyd Casey's jealousy over a convenient stadium location in the heart of campus. This is not about factors that would be better served in the U.S. News guide to choosing a school. Instead, the matter is of professional behavior in general. I knew when I applied that law school (and lawyers) have a reputation for being ruthless. This meant leaving the comfort and easiness of the Baylor bubble behind for the world of Socratic belittling, oppressive amounts of reading, and passable legal writing. One of the reasons I'm currently sitting in a Barnes & Noble in the middle of Michigan is because, in light of these reasons, I wanted to test drive the law before making a down payment on the three hardest years of my life.

The program is half over and the funny thing is, I am fascinated by the subject matter. Legal writing requires a complete overhaul of everything you thought you knew about effective sentence structure and grammar. Essentially, legal writing eats undergraduate research papers for breakfast. Doctrinally, I'm learning that contracts are everywhere. What constitutes a meeting of the minds? Offer.Acceptance.Counter-offer.Consideration.Ambiguous terms.Parol Evidence. OR-you get a hankering for chocolate chip cookies, so you go to the store and buy cookie dough. Congratulations, you just effectively entered into and completed the terms of a contract.

Without saying too much about acquaintances on the open Internet, I have been severely disappointed in the way in which my program colleagues choose to interact. Older seasoned professionals from other careers and Master's Degree holders alike talking smack about virtual strangers, reverting to 7th grade locker room insults and humor, and ridiculous attempts at egotistic intimidation techniques are all part of my daily existence.

The essential issue in this case is not whether I will be able to hack this life, but whether I want to. The cutthroat culture of law reaches far and wide (and yes, even to the Baylor bubble. In fact, read any law school review guide and it'll tell you competition is practically born at Baylor Law).

While I may soon be declared certifiably insane for having the audacity to actually enjoy law school exams, as they say in baseball, "it's never over until it's over."

And to that I say thank you to www.ncaa.com/cws for providing me with an interactive game tracker for streaming play-by-play coverage of the College World Series as I furiously scribble away the terms of real property, navigate the sea of jerk colleagues, and tackle law school one case at a time.

Definition Updated.

They say BIC is worth the wait, and they are right. My favorite class in all undergrad is the BIC capstone, wherein we study coming of age novels from Harry Potter to Life of Pi. I've jokingly called this class group therapy, as we read novels and attempt to read between the lines. We write blog posts for every class period on a forum so that each student has access to each other's thoughts. Our very first blog post was to answer the question: Who Am I? Our final post was to answer that question again.

My first post:

"If inner thoughts could exhibit animal characteristics, mine would be that of a squirrel. I am addicted to diet coke and fear I may meet death by aspartame. I believe John Locke was correct in asserting that men are inherently good. I was choked on the playground in the fourth grade for being too bouncy. I am best friends with my parents. I like to leave encouraging notes around the house for them to find; a quick ‘good morning’ in the coffee beans is always a winner. I drive a car with a large hole in the top, and that is perfectly fine with me. I am most proud of my easy-going nature, though I am a true diplomat at heart. If I had to do it all over again, I would change my major, but not my minors. I am self-conscious at my lack of domesticity, think London is a beautiful yet lonely city, and want a freckle tattoo."

My final post:

"I am different than I expected to be.

Less naive, more confident, less judgmental, more cynical. The list goes on and I’m sure I could bore you with all my attributes and faults, but that is not the point. The point is that I am content. I do not believe it possible for people to truly see themselves clearly, as there are so many factors and layers that are not immediately evident on the surface level. I don’t profess to such things. However, I do think I have a decent grasp on my limitations, my interests, my emotions, my determination. I do not have a bad self image, nor do I think higher of myself than I should. I am happy with who I’ve become, and am ready to move forward. My experience at Baylor is ‘rearview,’ as my Dad likes to say. In fact, I must leave graduation early so that I can embark upon my newest life adventure. I am okay with this. Armed with textbook knowledge and valuable life lessons, I am glad to have experienced the Baylor culture. I am prepared to succeed and even better prepared to fail. I am guarded. I am a product of my upbringing and my education combined. I totter on the edge between extrovert and introvert. As with all of us, I am complicated, a conundrum, and cannot be summarized in mere words.

Most importantly, I am the best version of myself."

Roses the Color of Sunset

There are those days where everything comes together, where one wakes up before the alarm and knows, just feels it in the tip of their toes, that it will be a good day.

today was one of those days.

I participated in Jewel Degree, or otherwise known as the final frontier of ADPi membership before becoming an alumna. It was my last chance to hear juicy secrets from generations past, and I was not disappointed in the slightest. Immediately following, I went to Founder's Day, which is a celebration of the founding of Alpha Delta Pi. Founded on May 15, 1851 by sixteen year old Wesleyan Women's College student Eugenia Tucker Fitzgerald, the Adelphean Society "had for its object the mental, moral, social, and domestic improvement of its members." Now, 159 years after the six founders united under an umbrella of sisterhood consisting of common goals, virtues, and desires, I stood proudly to receive my scholarship and senior recognition. Looking around at the spring dresses and sprightly shades of cardigans, I felt the bittersweet moment; ready to leave, not ready to go. I felt like an alumna.

Last night we had formal. It may have been raining, a small Waco Hurricane. It may have been at a venue that closely resembled a sheep farm. Laura and I may have got stuck in the mud, our heels sinking 3 inches deep the minute we stepped out of the car. We may have made the treacherous journey to the big white house and washed the cakes of mud off our formally-clad selves. We may have laughed. We may have had one of the best formals ever. And we may have had an adventure.

The night was not without casualties, however. Laura's usually pristine white car was transformed into a Dalmatian of mud. Following Founder's Day we went through the car wash. Settling in, I prepared to enjoy one of my favorite life pleasures. We put on Journey's 'Don't Stop Believing.' And there is where I felt it. There, in the car wash with one of my best friends, washing the mud off and listening to 80's power ballads, thinking about the symbolism of becoming an alumna and gracefully exiting something which has been such a monumental part of my past four years, I felt it. Like the car wash, the last events of senior are an opportunity to move forward. To realize that I am graduating in three weeks, and am off to start a brand new adventure. And that no matter what happens or where I go, no matter how much I screw up or not at all, there will always be a car wash to reset, refocus, and to realize that no matter what, the main lesson is to Don't Stop Believing.

My name was read, and I stood to receive my yellow-orange rose and senior gift. The presenter highlighted my college life in thirty seconds:I am an International Studies major, I excelled in these organizations, my future plan is to attend law school, my favorite sorority memory is all-nighters in the chapter room and cutting of the Creeds.

It wasn't until later, experiencing the car wash and Journey and everything in between, that I realized I was wrong. My favorite sorority memory changed to today. It will change again soon. It will constantly change, as will I.


Two days ago I bought cowboy boots.

Yet another defining factor of my identity. Add proud Texas [of four years] to the list. Add ADPi alumna to the list. Add college graduate to the list.

And let the list keep growing.

The Healing Power of Fountains & Friends

Three weeks into my final year as an undergrad. Overwhelmed is an understatement. Classes are small (less than 10 people in all of them), Demand for excellence is high, leadership positions are challenging to the point of no return. Yet, as intense and draining as the past few weeks have been, they have also been some of the most well-rounded weeks of my entire college career.

There is a large black cricket infestation in Waco. Its really, really bad. My courtyard is filled with frogs the size of my palm. The upside? frogs think crickets=yummy. The downer? I now must watch out for homeless creepers AND frogs-its a real battle zone between the car and the front door. Kittens come in trios. I did field research at a Czech folk festival. McDonalds happy meals with American Girl paper dolls do indeed make me quite happy. I now hold a most coveted spot in SING/Pigskin formations: the tip of the triangle. This year, I'll finally apply myself to Russian; if I don't, I will surely drown among the Pushkin poems.

This week was particularly intense. Come Friday night I was tired, hungry, wilted by the immense humidity, and ready to throw in the towel. Though I wanted no more than a quiet night at home, I mustered all my energy and pushed through an extreme sport social event at the student life center. I was pleasantly surprised by the turnout, how fun it was, and how good it felt to hurl dodgeballs across the court towards 20-30 strangers. It was pouring rain as we cleaned up and walked the supplies to a friend's car. Dryness was no longer an option and I noticed the BSB fountains were still running. It is a tradition to run through the science building fountains, and is one I had yet to experience. Tonight, surrounded by some of my closest friends, I experienced another college right of passage.

Run, group hug, laughter. Run, group hug, soaked, water, laughter. more laughter.

And as I stood soaked, laughing uncontrollably with the rain pouring down around us, I felt it. Renewal, refreshment. But most of all, I felt alive.

At that moment, under the cloud of stress and delirium, there was nothing to do but run. Run through the wall of water, and run fast and hard.

Thats the feeling that propells us on. Like white water rapids.


(and among the chaos of the here, the now, the future, the suggestive song of a ceiling fan plays on.)

Waxing (& Washing) Philosophical

The next 45 minutes are extremely precious. That is the amount of time I have left before I am kicked off the at&t Starbucks internet connection.

I've been neglecting my blog lately.

My mind has been everywhere- the good, the bad, the freaking out, the empowered, that I'm not sure I could even begin to capture my thoughts. So I won't. Instead, I'll wax philosophical for a moment on carwashes and why they are so perfect.

Carwashes. 8 minutes of renewal. the smell of soap. the cleansing of dirt away. the ability to use them wherever, whenever. The feeling of driving in, knowing you have nothing to do for the next few minutes except for watching the patterns on the windshield and anticipate the powerful blast of air when the time comes.

A carwash is a tabula rasa.

Simply put, a carwash has the ability to refresh you. to make you feel as if, when you drive out the other end, the world is a better place. brighter. cleaner. full of greater possibilities. regardless of where your head and heart were when pulling in, its as if the soapy suds wash away all the apprehension.

if you're not buying it, we can agree to disagree.

but gahh, you haven't lived until you've experienced a carwash at its finest. and at its finest, it not only cleans the outside of the car, but the precious cargo inside as well.

lets just say, I've been going through a lot of carwashes lately.

law school. grad school. director of a cruise ship. can I really do it all?

affirmative.


My summer has shifted focus. This has become the most interesting, unexpected, introspective, rewarding summers I have ever experienced. Its frightening. and boring. and at the same time, exhilerating to have so much time to simply listen to myself, my thoughts, to take the time to assess and analyze the outcomes of my future decisions. God really knows what he's doing. He knew exactly what I needed out of this summer long before I did. but thats usually how it goes.


I've been working for about a month doing camp photos. I've also started my own collection of what I like to call "creepy kids of summer." bahaha. my roommates have no idea what's hitting them come fall. creepy kids of summer collage? I think yes. (sorry Jessie....some of the pictures are really abstract and cool, and some are downright weird and creepy :) ohh the faces kids make in photos. you can see an entire world of emotion in these photos.

I've also begun a poptab collecting campaign. Its going well, seeing as how my workplace is the poptab meca.

ok, 30 minutes of precious wifi. Thats all you get, blogworld.

until the next wifi session-

The Trees Are All A'Twitter

I live in a perpetual campground. This is what I've coined our Flagstaff residence. The windows are big, bright, and open. The living room has a fireplace, four outrageously comfy leather chairs, two large open windows, and comes to a point at the ceiling, like a mini A-frame within the house. We lovingly refer to it as the tent. Here we sit, night after night, listening to the sounds of the forest-birds, dogs, buzzing of bugs-and experience a perpetual campground moment. The cool night air coupled with the fireplace and comfy chairs is enough to quickly draw you in and cause immediate relaxation.

When you're camping in the Arizona forests, there is another noise that is distinctly recognizable. This is the sound of the trees. Now, you may wonder, what? Trees don't make sounds. Cats, they meow. Horses, they neigh. People, they talk. Trees, they stand there and look pretty (except for those all brown suffering from bark beetles...a metaphor for another day). While trees may not have mouths and voices, their tale is ever clear. Trees are catalysts, used by the wind to spin a story. Today, the story is loud and full of mischief. Whoosh! goes the wind, taking no prisoners as it flies through the needles of the pines. Throughout the house a story is being constructed. No, more than a story. The way the wind is blowing, a full on opera is being composed outside these walls.

I wonder what they're saying? The operatic movement has been consistent since sunrise. Sometimes it sounds angry, violent. Others, like right now, it merely strings sentences together, content to sway the day away. You know there are birds out there holding on for dear life. Their songs sound a bit more stressed than usual, concentrating on their nests within the trees, not wanting to start over due to the wind's potential destruction. Its ok, little birds. You are supposed to be high flying, blown from here to there. You like the wind. It does the work for you. You open your wings and soar with the current.

Wouldn't it be great if we all trusted the wind like the birds? Some do, letting it take them to new heights. Others don't, preferring to make their nests on the ground, rather than run the risk of re-building after a blustery day.

Ok, the wind has suddenly dramatically died down and took the conclusion to my metaphor with it. I don't know what I was trying to conclude, so I won't even try.

This is the first blog post I've written in the daylight, I think. My night owl ways are rapidly falling by the wayside this summer. I shouldn't be writing. I should be LSATing. 3 days left. I'm just so tired of thinking about it and stressing over it. I experienced a mini panic attack this week while studying at Barnes and Noble. And to make it worse, a lady came up, sat down next to me, and said rude things just out of the blue. Really? If you don't have anything nice to say, maybe you shouldn't bring your dog in a public business and be rude to those around you. I've stopped studying there, for the most part. I'm to the point where I'm doing full practice tests everyday and I have those here at home. I don't need the strategies as much, and frankly, I'm tired of watching camo gaming guy and jerk reading guy and listening to their gossip about Orthodox Priest man's loud cell-phone voice or NAU girl's use of 2 tables. Deconstructive talk just for the sake of talking is just lame.

I hope the trees are being constructive. Thats what I chose to believe.

Although I was mad and frustrated at LSAT and mean lame men the other day, as I got up to stretch, the guy who's always behind the counter in the cafe asked me how the studying was going. I replied not well, to which he looked genuinely concerned and sympathetic. He then asked me how may days until I took the LSAT (which means he's been watching my studying habits and isn't as weirded out by my daily diet pepsis as I thought he was) and when I replied 5, he gave me a nice smile and said, "when the test day comes, it will all be there. And it'll be worth it." then he handed me my diet pepsi as well as a glimmer of hope for the Barnes and Noble crowd, after all.

Often, you're not aware of what those around you notice. Ever more often, one word or phrase has enough potential to give you renewed life and vigor. Like the wind, which is in full force yet again, you just have to allow yourself to be blown along, and let the whirl create a force around you.

In other news, I now kill spiders and wasps, too.

The Art of Murdering Moths

The thing is, I don't want to murder the moths. I know they aren't harmful. I know they're caterpillars who turn into moths. I know they have a tendency to love the light while simultaneously loving the dark. The also seem to love watching me sleep. This is the reason they have to go. Regardless of how careful I am with keeping the door closed and trying to ensure they won't enter the room, like many things in life, this luxury is nowhere near guaranteed. Moths represent summer. The cool air, the crickets chirping, the breeze through the open windows and the pine trees outside. They appear and disappear just as quickly. Stealthy and discreet, I'm rapidly learning that trusting a moth's position is a fatal move.

i awake bright and early every morning to the sound of construction out my open window and to the bright morning light. bang bang bang goes the hammer, its time to awaken and greet the summer light! I drive out of my neighborhood and into town, marveling at the majestic peak straight ahead. With all the rain and weather, it looks different in different forms of light. My shower has some of the best water pressure I've ever experienced. Flagstaff Barnes and Noble is my daily destination. I order a venti diet pepsi every day around 3:00 in the afternoon. The locals and I are becoming quite acquaintances.

Here's the thing with them: I spent a good few days while pouring over my LSAT books and learning strategy, discovering that the trout comes before the bass in the supermarket fish sale, while also keeping an open ear towards the conversations around two local men that sit in the same spots, reading and playing on their computers day after day. I'm convinced one hasn't worn anything but the same outfit I saw first saw him in. He's middle aged, black shirt on black jeans, and often a camo jacket if the rain decides to hang out with us. The first day I saw him he was engrossed, and I mean totally engrossed, in his computer, typing furiously. Since I've seen writers at the Flagstaff bookstore before, I immediately thought he was in the creative process and I was inspired, felt a pang to begin writing for fun like I used to love. I even started a story and pledged to myself that I'd write short stories this summer, just because I want to.

After listening to conversations and context clues and employing my ability to eavesdrop on public conversations, I discovered black shirt camo man was in fact not writing a novel. He was instead playing games. Computerized chess, all.day.long. every.day. To take the matter further, when I told my parents this, my Dad informed me he knows exactly who I'm talking about and has seen him at B&N doing the same thing for the past.8.years. throughout his travels through Flag and in his stops and needs for coffee before heading down the mountain.

gaming? all day everyday? I was so disappointed. still am, actually. I wasted valuable time and energy and listening resources, so curious about these characters who come and do the same routine, day after day. While I've become a part of the crowd, with my LSAT books and diet pepsi, I know its temporary. Come June 8 I'll be done. I'll be working, I'll be in summer phase 2. Looks are deceiving. Apparently you can't judge a book, or a camo jacket, but its cover. And if you do, you better beware. You may just end up rather not knowing.

We ate Sunday lunch in Winslow Arizona last week. It was delightful. Standin on a corner in Winslow Arizona. such a fine sight to see.

Fun fact: the original song was set in Flagstaff. Standin on a corner in Flagstaff Arizona. such a fine sight to see. Its a girl, my Lord, in a flatbed Ford, slowin' down to take a look at me.

There is a plaque. and a flatbed ford on the street of ol' sleepy Winslow AZ. this makes me immensely happy.

what I've learned from LSATing:
-arguments can always be weakened, regardless of how strong you may think it is
-bubble sheets are evil
-in logic games, G H F R Y T U I S all have a place, just not necessarily where you might think they'd go
-writing sample, schmiting sample.

and so it continues. less than 2 weeks. bring it. bring it.

the computer battery is about to die.

summer indulgence: venti diet pepsis and watching the Bachelorette on abc.com with Mom.

fall asleep to the crickets. wake up with the sun. make friends with the moths.

Channeling Charrie

I realize only Reagan will understand the title to this post. And thats ok. Everyone needs cryptic phrases every once in a while.

ahh finals. a time when the world seems so lonely yet so full of commradery. You don't see the same people on an everyday basis, but you know somewhere, they are suffering through studying just like you are. Or, if they're procrastinating, the same guilty thoughts run through their minds as well.

You know what else is cryptic? the language people put in emails. Just when you think you've known someone long enough to determine their official email tone of voice, they revolt against the norm and send surprisingly friendly notes that throw you off your game.

sad I'm missing Mother's Day by 2 days.

am starting to freak out about the LSAT. June 8, baby.

[shoutout to Reagan and Laura and our appreciation for jake fiscom, rumpled journalist and coffee shirt-casual musical barrista]

moving on.

I will have a new best friend by the end of the summer. His name is Flagstaff Public Library, (FPL, if you will.) FPL will provide me with trips abroad and formulaic boy-gets-girl storylines. Come August, I will be so adept in them I will probably be fit to write one myself. ha.

I also need to start thinking seriously about my trip to Ukraine. This is an extremely awesome component of my summer and I want it to rock me.

Conquering fears and re-discovering avenues once lost seems to be constant theme for me. Turns out, the Phantom really just wants Christine to love him. If only 10 year old Brooke had just developed an early appreciation for unrequited love, it would've saved many frightening moments with the Phantom, "inside my mind."

I'm more cynical than I once was. Much, much more so. The idea of a beautiful sad love story where the two don't end up together has currently has more appeal than the typical formula. boy meets girl. series of cute encounters follow. a big misunderstanding. time of sad reflection. one makes the big gesture. together forever. blah. blah. But that has its place. Just not at the top of my favorites. No, it seems the scardicat has begun to see the real world. And you know what the biggest surprise is? Its not as bad as she once thought.

This post is cryptic. I know. And thats the point. Bear with me. The next one will be more streamlined, hopefully. Or maybe not.

Finals studying essentials: [apparently lofty and cryptic thoughts about nothing in particular to balance the intense amount of real information in my head]
-printed notes with computer charts
-DIET COKE.
-friends to look up and stare at every once in a while, to be reassured that other people still exist around you
-late night movies as rewards.
-mindless room cleaning.
-stressing.
-DIET COKE.

Yesterday, I had a paper due at 11:55 pm. (who makes a research paper due at 11:55 on Saturday, the first day of dead days? So strange). I researched like mad most of the night before and the morning of. Began to write at 3ish. Called Mom around 6ish to see if thesis and intro was clear. It wasn't. Had a lovely dinner at Laura's that she cooked while I frantically wrote. Mom called again at 11:15 asking if the paper was done. "No, I'm finishing the conclusion and have to do the bibliography. Its only 11:15. Plently of time." to which she responded: "You are your father's daughter..." I finished with 11 minutes to spare. Her words keep running through my head because I like the sound of their meaning. I am my father's daughter. And you know what? thats not a half bad thing to be. Not at all.

Rules Breaking Discouraged

NYC. You know you've done NYC right when you return home and sleep 20 hours before doing anything else. I fully enjoyed my time in the Big Apple, successfully balancing MUN committee obligations with plain ol' crazy fun. Case in point, here is a picture of our team rocking out to either 'Bohemian Rhapsody' or 'Livin' on a Prayer' in this awesome karaoke place in Little Korea. yes, I sang karaoke in Little Korea. Then I took the subway at 3:00 am. Not cool, as there were lots of those poisonous rats the signs warn of. Its an epic night now, and I'm glad I had a chance to experience NYC the way it should be experienced.

The National MUN conference is different than most. Instead of having 2 Chairs per committee as part of the secretariat staff, NMUN has a Director and Assistant Director who serve directly on staff, and on the first night they choose someone from the committee to serve as the Chair and essentially become part of the staff for a week. Having had some Chair and secretariat experience, on a whim I decided to go through the interview process. This was partly a strategy, as the Director was ignoring my partner and I, and I knew sitting down face to face would help me stand out from the crowd of 299 other people. I was really direct and honest in my interview, and was preoccupied, thinking my team had left for our traditional karaoke without me. The interview finished around midnight and I saw a text that the team was just then leaving so I ran out of the intervew telling them to simply call me if I was chosen. Sure enough, somewhere in between Queen and Spice Girls I got a call saying I was to be the Chair of the General Assembly 3rd Committee. This is a huge honor, and the whole week I was transformed from delegate to staff. I got to meet a lot of the people running the conference and had an inside look as to how the thing is run, the awards process, and what makes a delegation stand out. I also gained great leadership skills. The best part, however, was being in committee in the actual UN building. For those of you not familiar with UN preceedings, the General Assembly Plenary is the offical GA body, though there are six subcommittees under the GA. These 6 committees pass resolutions and then report to Plenary for it to also officially adopt all resolutions. The final day of conference all the committees met in the UN building for a special Plenary session. Being the Chair of the 3rd committee, I had the opportunity to be the chair and facilitate the voting proceedings for a while. I spoke in the actual microphone, sat at the actual dias that the President of the actual GA sits at. It was way cool. The second picture is of me and my fellow dias in action.

With 2 chairs and 4 individual best delegate committee awards, Baylor's MUN came out on top. We won the highest possible award, which was that of "Outstanding Delegation." This is a huge relief, and it makes me even more excited for next year and my potential leadership within the organization.

I spent all day in the UN building on Thursday. The best part is all the signs posted everywhere, "Smoking Discouraged." Of course the UN wouldn't outright prohibit anything...I don't think anything else better illustrates the ironies and problems with the UN system than these signs...

I also got to eat in the Delegate cafeteria (almost illegally) and had the opportunity to meet an ACTUAL UGANDAN REPRESENTATIVE (!!!!!!!). He was so great to take 30 minutes out of his day to speak with some of us. The first thing he said was that we were so young. When we told him most were seniors or juniors, he was flabergasted, as higher education in Uganda is a priviledge not necessarily achieved at such a young age. Listening to him talk really put my own opportunities into perspective. I just spent the week gallavanting all over NYC. I had the chance to Chair in the UN building. I drank mojitos in a Cuban restaurant, had filet minon and crab at this upscale seafood restaurant, walked around Time Square well after midnight, drank frozen mochachino at the famous Serendipity dessert place, and frolicked around Central Park for a whole day, enjoying the beautiful weather and scenery. This fun, coupled with the added responsibilities of being Chair and part of the staff, gave me such a feeling of empowerment. Listening to the Ugandan Delegate, however, I realized that while these opportunities are outstanding and so worthwhile, they really are just the start. I'm young. so so young. It makes me wonder: If this is what I'm doing at age 20 (almost 21), what will I be doing at age 30? 40?

I realized something else this week. Sometimes, its fun to break the rules. Not in a detrimental way, but in a way that makes you feel alive. Maybe there is something to that UN sign of only discouraging rather than prohibiting bad habits.

On another note, Raleigh surprised me and drove through town today. It was especially nice to see him and I greatly appreciated the time he spent here in Waco with me. I've been sleeping and vegging and recovering from my crazy hectic week. It was really nice to see him, especially to see family on Easter.

I'm looking forward to summer. One month away. I have this vision of playing the piano in that great front room with the patio doors open, letting the sound waft out and down the pine tree street in the evenings and to spend serious time researching grad schools and such. I'm very glad Petey (the Petrof piano) was moved to Flagstaff this weekend.

Not sure what I'm going to do with my car George over the summer. hmmm.

Happy Easter. If nothing else, this week reaffirmed that today (and everyday) I am blessed by God's glory. He is good. so soo good.

Scouts Honor

Today I (almost) single-handedly conviced 6 6th grade girl scouts to come to Baylor. The campus wasn't giving official tours today due to an on campus marathon event, and a nice troop of Dallas girl scouts were having an exciting excursion to Waco's must see venues, such as the Dr. Pepper museum and Baylor University. The leader of the troop is an ADPi alumnae from Baylor, and called our chapter advisor to see if any current members would be willing to give a tour. Since Laura and I work in the admissions department and are now walking Baylor fact spouters, we decided to go ahead and give the tour. It was a beautiful slightly chilly day and let me tell you, by the end of our amazing tour, those girls were like, 'I can't wait until I'm a bear!" We had them stand on the seal in Founder's Mall and listen to their echos, they walked through the practice rooms, the science fountain, the SLC swimming pool, the library garden. My favorite moment of the tour was in the BSB in front of Java City when one girl asked me: "Do you have to like coffee to come to Baylor?" erm, no. But she'll soon find out it makes hangouts, study groups, and dates a whole lot easier if you're down with the Common Grounds. It was very refreshing to walk around campus for the sake of walking around campus on such a beautiful day. As I described the different buildings to the girl scouts I had flashes of various memories made in the same buildings. It made me realize my time here at Baylor has been quite extensive, action packed, and looking at those buildings, I realized I'm leaving a solid footprint on Baylor's paths.

This past week was long and hard. It rained a lot as well, and since George (my car) has a nice wide hole in the soft top (due to a vandalism incident a while back) I left him in the parking garage for the majority of the week. My kind roommate was nice enough to drive a crazed me to work on Wednesday, during the heaviest downpour (thanks again, Jessie!). This next week is also going to be intense. I leave for New York City next Saturday. I have a lot to accomplish until then- I must get homework done ahead of time for the week I'm gone, I need to finish researching my topics extensively, and plan outfits/pack for the trip. These things are all doable. Along with getting to be in NYC for an international Model UN conference, I'm also way looking forward to visiting the MOMA and MET and hopefully finding some good knock off deals on the sketchy streets of Chinatown.

I've been pondering the verses of Matthew 4 all week long.

The spring weather makes me think of sailboats.

Crayonberries

A random facts '25 things about me' craze has engulfed Facebook. Now, I'm very stubborn and tend to go against the grain on these matters, but I also am not sure I have 25 things about me that are deemed cool enough for the facebook crowd. I keep thinking of random facts and wondering, 'would I tell the world that fact?' Its interesting really. It takes a lot of courage to publish all those thoughts about yourself and trust mere acquaintances to read them.

My not so 25 things about me:
-I read the first half of a book. then I read the ending. then I go back and fill in the rest. please don't scoff at this.
-I had a slight breakdown about my future prospects today. I've had quite a few rejection letters lately (internships, scholarships, etc...)
-I really hope this trend doesn't continue into law school admissions letters.
-this is why I'm devoting my summer to LSAT, Ukraine, learning Russian for real,and community service- all for the sake of enjoyment.
-I like blackberries. The poignant burst of bittersweet is more than a bitesized fruit should be allowed to have. There is a certain simple joy in eating blackberries.
-I name most inanimate objects. They are all boys.
-I spent most of the semester being a blue crayon. For those of you not familiar with Baylor's All University SING, I'd be honored if you checked it out here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s_wcG1Mlsmg

Cranberry Orange tea is the phantom tea of goodness. Or was the phantom tea. After months of searching for the best tea I've ever tasted (after discovering it in Oxford), I found it in an organic foods store in Flagstaff. The funny thing? I finally find the perfect tea right as summer rapidly approaches and optimal tea drinking time is on its way out. Why not enhance the heat by drinking hot tea? I say go ahead and drink. see what happens. Crayonberry tea, to be exact.

My last visit here left me nostalgic for European trains in Waco, serving free diet coke and biscuits. It also left me nostalgic for the summer that had just passed, the beauty of the British Isles, and the attitude of empowerment I secured while in Oxford. That feeling made it across the Atlantic and I've been carrying it around with me for most of the year, though I'm currently having some difficulties remembering where I misplaced it. The summer months are again fastly approaching, and though the calendar doesn't have a month marked out for study abroad (oh how I wish it would) it is nevertheless full of refreshment and great potential.

Why have I returned to this online portal? A few weeks ago a guest speaker visited my international law class. He is a young man, mid 20s, and has heavily been involved in high profile NGOs such as Invisible Children and Tom's shoes. After traveling throughout war torn Congo he created his own non profit, known as Falling Whistles. He was extremely engaging, extremely challenging, and managed to explain the conflict in Congo in such a helpful way as countless articles never have before. He also berrated my generation for being careless. Where is the passion? Where are the online blogs? Where are the questions? HOW are we letting such human rights abuses happen without any sign of uproar? Where, WHERE are the protests? I left class conviced, a little shocked, and passionate. After a brief stint with 30 degree meetings at the local hippie/chic coffeeshop for Baylor's own Falling Whistles chapter, I ackowledged the grassroots life isn't for me.

But, the idea of returning to this blog stuck around. So here I am again.

Ultimately, I've decided its time to once again be passionate out loud. With any luck my quest will have an outcome similar to that of the cranberry orange tea.


Or, I could always become a blackberry harvester. mmmhhmmmm.

Pride Rock

2 more days in wonderful England. I've decided I like the north a bit better, after having experienced both Ireland and now Scottland. The 6 1/2 hour train ride to/back from Scottland was quite the experience. I couldn't help thinking that for such an amount of time I could've been to California from Mesa, or to the states from Gatwick airport. It sure is silly how time is always relative to something else. Now, time is going by so slowly yet too fast at the same time. I'm so ready to come home yet am dreading it and think I may hide my suitcase to prohibit packing. I've layed on the prohibited Christ Church grass, I've been exploring around Oxford, I've conqurered numerous cities, I've stood in 2 hemispheres at the same time, I've rode on a double decker bus, I've matress surfed in an Oxford establishment, I've been on a pub crawl, I've almost been hit by crazy busses numerous times, I did not set foot in one American store/food place the whole time I've been here, I've climbed to the highest point in Scottland (840ish ft) and seen the city below and the North sea look so so small, I've learned to love tea, I've become fully British. I can only think of a small handful of tense/bad moments on this trip. The rest have been either ridiculous and incredible, or I've been laughing so much my face hurts. The dynamics with the people on the trip will be sorely missed, especially because we have had the best time with each other and getting to know each other. I wish America had trains like Europe does. I was so productive on the train. I need a train to circle the outskirts of Waco (or Baylor) (kind of like a Christmas tree) that I can get on, have complimentary biscuits and diet coke, and get all my schoolwork done there. Yes, that would be wonderful.

Bailey's is Bliss

I realize I've been a bit lax on the update front, but thats because I've been quite busy discovering the finer things in Oxford (like Moo Moo milkshakes) and flying sketchy Euro airlines. Please accept my sincerest apologies.

I LOVE IRELAND.

This past weekend was incredible. Absolutely stunning. The 5 of us started our 4 day weekend by pilgrimage-ing to Worcester on Thursday, with our one backpack carry on in tow. Worcester is a charming town with matching red brick buildings and greenery (kind of like Baylor on a larger and more British scale) and the main walkway is very lovely. There was a man selling large bubbles that floated up to the sky. Why this is important, I don't really know, but it seemed to fit a city with my namesake. Anyways, I was slightly obnoxious (though in my defense I warned my friends ahead of time and they agreed) and took pictures next to every sign that said Worcester that I could find. I spent some time in the Royal Worcester factory shops (after getting mildly lost- a 'detour around my fine city') and learned how to travel with only a backpack and pieces of china bubble wrapped around my clothes. I told the ladies at Royal Worcester that my last name was Worcester and that I was on a mini pilgrimage and that I was buying Holly Ribbons for my parents and I thought I was so cool, though they didn't share the same enthusiasm. Apparently lots of Americans with the name Worcester show up with the same story...bummer.

After a sufficient afternoon in the land of my namesake (which, by the way, is the only British town I've run across to sell Bueno bars- +1 for Worcester) we headed to Bristol, where we were staying the night in a youth (?) hostel. We enjoyed a lovely meal next to the river in Bristol and took fun pictures with statues. Bristol is quite lovely. The one not lovely part about Bristol was the creepy (not youth) lady staying in the (not youth) hostel room with us. She had her underwear hanging up (hopefully to dry) and when we walked in at 11 that night, we at first couldn't tell if she was male or female. She snorred odly and I was a bit freaked out and the room was so hot, I'm pretty sure I slept maybe 45 minutes that night. When our alarm went off at 5 am, I was quite relieved. We then headed to the airport and boarded the sketchiest airline I've ever ridden- RyanAir. The entire line is bright blue and yellow and the seats are dirt cheap. They don't even put pockets on the backs of the seats and the safety card is posted on the seat in front of you. They fly under the radar, and as our amazing cab driver in Ireland told us, when the radar tower broke last week and no airline flew, RyanAir still managed to get everyone to their destination on time. They play a loud trumpet noise post-landing to inform everyone that indeed, they are safe and on time at their new destination. Ohhhh RyanAir.

We made it to Dublin and wandered around the city for some time. I love the Irish; they are so laid back and relaxed and really friendly. They are the Texans of Europe. Dublin, though a bustling city like so many in Europe, also has a very easy going feel to it. It is not pretentious like Paris and doesn't try too hard to be beautiful (again, like Paris) nor does it evoke busy gray like London. We discovered Bailey's Irish cream and Irish coffee, and sat in a pub listening to U2 and drinking irish coffee and ciders. ahhh, the Irish life. The second day we were there we rode the DART (which is all green- happy happy Irish people) to a small fishing port town about 20 minutes outside Dublin called Hawth (Hoe-fth). The town itself was miraculous and the best port town and harbor I've ever seen. We took a ferry to the Eye of Ireland, which is an island located a short ferry ride off the coast. On the island we explored and climbed to the top of the giant rock hills. From the very top the wind was whistling past me, I could see ocean on all sides and beautiful sail boats embedded against the water, the seagulls squacked overhead, and the island itself was green and filled with beautiful Irish countryside. The moment I shared on top of the Eye of Ireland was quite possibly the most pleasant, most invigorating moment of my life. I laid down and closed my eyes on the rocks and just listened to the nature sounds around me. Ladybugs crawled on my legs and the sun beat down just right, and I decided that Hawth, Ireland is one of my top 3 favorite places in the world. (Don't ask me what the other 2 are- it just seemed too concrete to call Hawth my absolute favorite, seeing as how I'm only 20 and have a lot of the world to still see).

The rest of Ireland was magical- we spent a bit more time in Dublin, went to a writer's museum, and drank more Irish coffee. There is such a great vibe in Ireland. Really, with such gorgeous surroundings, it is a wonder someone could NOT be inspired creatively by living there. Its no wonder the Irish churmed out quite possibly the best poets and writers of the 19th and 20th centuries (Yeats, Wilde, Shaw, Swift, among others) We returned to Oxford mid-day Sunday, all slightly relunctant to leave our new love- Ireland.

Cheap Couture

I LOVE OXFORD.
the end. Thats pretty much all there is to it. I mean, there is plenty more and a whirlwind of details, but life at Oxford is pretty much amazing. The past week has consisted of waking up for breakfast in the great hall, then hanging out/getting ready/reading and such, then class, then a brief lunch (there is a croissantery across the gate that is wonderful and cheap) and then doing whatever we feel like. We went on a Christ Church tour the first day and saw the secret garden where Alice played and peeked through her door, as well as the old Oxford library with Chaucer originals. Did you know Christ Church has the best and biggest private art collection, including Rafael, Michaelangelo, and Renoir?? I have yet to see it, but it is definitely on my list. It is so amazing bypassing the tourists that can only go on certain parts of the walk, and I saunter right by and walk through the quad. The second day here we had an Inklings walk tour, where we saw a bit more of Oxford and the places Tolkein and Lewis lived, got married, taught, etc... I've also been to their favorite pub, the Eagle and Child (or the Bird and the Babe, as they called it) and really really like Strongbow, an English cider that tastes a lot like champagne and beer combined (because, well, thats really all it is).

This weekend we're planning on taking a few day trips, though the possibilities are endless and it is hard to narrow down the choices! The frontrunners are Swansea in Wales, Stratford upon Avon, Bath, and back to London. Next weekend I'm terribly excited about, as we've planned a trip to Ireland and leave next Thursday night (1 week from today). I just love Oxford though. It is the best things about London condensed into a small friendly town. Christ Church is at the center of the commotion, and while there are busy pedestrian streets surrounding the college, when we're in the big Tom gate it is hard to imagine there being a real world at all outside the gate. It is really fun coming back at night after the gate has been closed- we have a little card that we swipe and it opens a little door embedded in the large gate. It is so secretive and cool. The dinners are absolutely incredible as well. Christ Church has this habit of serving me something I thought I didn't like only to discover it is in fact the best food I've ever tried. This has happened with smoked salmon, lemon merrange, which they're famous for (sp?), duck (which, this wasn't amazing but better than I thought it would be), guinea fowl, and tomato pepper soup. We also had a mango avacado salad one night that consisted of half a mango and half a avacado straight up, and it was delicious. I could definitely get used to this life.

Pain au Chocolat

Paris is wonderful. Its absolutely wonderful, there is no other way to describe it. Ok, well maybe whimsical and charming work too, but the city is vibrant and cultured and full of life. I enjoyed the eurostar ride to France (they don't tell you about the ear popping and head pounding while in the English channel- they should) and especially enjoyed the 3 hour coach tour we had around Paris. It gave me a better idea of the circular city and helped see all the major sites right off the bat. I fulfilled a goal right away and after checking into our hotel, I walked down the Champs d' Elise and bought a red leather handbag that is absolutely amazing and was 50% off and I love! (for those of you who know my obsession with red leather, you can feel the excitement oozing through the keyboard). While the weather was rainy and cold in London, Paris was slightly breezy and somewhat clouded with a few showers, but most of the time it was gorgeous. My favorite part of Paris was the d' Orsay impressionist museum. I had been looking forward to going there all weekend, and it did not dissapoint. I especially liked two Renoir paintings and the Monets were quite fabulous. The Lourve was also amazing; it was so grandeur one could argue it was over the top. I was under prepared for the Mona Lisa and in doing so was pleasantly surprised. The crowds were not as bad as they could've been, and I got to stand as close as possible (which is behind the curtain behind the glass case behind the glass over the painting behind the frame. security much?) and I studied her for a while, only to finally decide she looked demure and there was a tired wilt in her eyes. I've heard she expresses the emotion one feels when they look at her, and if that is the case, then she was definitely tired! One of the days we got up and went out of the city a bit to Chartres, which is a darling little town housing the world's greatest gothic cathedral. Chartres Cathedral was incredible- definitely one of my favorites in Europe so far. It was extremely dark and cold within the gray Medieval cathedral, though the contrasting blue stained glass rose pannels shone brightly into the building. Such a contrast really illuminated the idea of light and purity and the place had a humble (if you can call any cathedral humble) and satisfied presence. After the most amazing eclair I've ever eaten in my entire life, we left Chartres and a small group of us ventured off to Versailles. It was such a contrast to go from a place glorifying God for thousands of years, to a place that is epitomized by human grandeur. 'For the glory of France' was engraved on the side, and though the gardens were wonderful and fresh, the entire compound was soooo extravagant. Geesh, no wonder Marie Antoinette and Louis XVI were so out of touch- they lived practially in an island of wealth. From Versailles we were exhausted, but pressed on to the lourve once we got back to the city. It was worth it, and we saw a lot of sites in 3 French cities that one day. The next day consisted of a philosophy walking tour through the left bank (I took my picture with Voltaire's grave!) and a visit to the D' Orsay, as well as a visit to the Sacre Couer, which means the 'sacred heart'. This church is built on a hill overlooking the city and was built after the Franco Prussian war to glorify the sacred heart of Jesus. The view was great, and we ate a great 3 course meal in artist's square before opting for a taxi (wise choice- we were freakishly near the red light district nearing dark) ride back to the hotel.

YAY Paris. I have a new appreciation for the French. Before I didn't have a great opinion because thinking politically, they tend to make the international communities' job a bit more difficult. After being there experiencing the city, however, it really made me appreciate the French's strong history and background. They've earned their lourve and in some ways their Versailles. So I say let them eat cake! (and eat it too).

London Calling...

LONDON.

I had an absolutely fabulous day 1. After landing with a smooth plane ride and a few hiccups at the airport, I found my way to join the rest of the group, and we went around town a bit and walked through Hyde park, which is incredible and so peaceful. I had some nice nature moments. We played with the swans. They're quite tame, actually. I then had an amazing dinner complete with strawberry beer (it was incredible.) at a genuine English pub, and then had fun walking back to the dorms as it got dark. Today was incredibly full- Westminster Abbey, Buckingham Palace (where I discovered British Police have the best accents yet), and St. Paul's Cathedral. St. Paul's was definitely the highlight for me; we climbed hundreds of stairs to the very top of the dome and walked out on a railing looking out over London. It was magnificent, the air was so crisp and cool and all of London looked so majestic. After that we went to the Tate Modern Art Museum and my favorite part was the Russian/USSR Propaganda poster room. I stayed far too long reading the posters and almost lost my group at closing time. The Globe theater and 'A Midsumer's Night's Dream' was next, and the Globe was much more relaxed than I thought it would be. Tomorrow we do more London, the Canterbury, then Paris, then Oxford! Oh how wonderful it is here. I get shivers when I see awesome and pretty sights, and while I'm excited for Paris, the thought of discovering the English countryside is so so alluring.

Casualties:
1 almost lost Metro Tube pass
1 umbrella
1 almost burnt/exploded mini hairdryer (which I saved just in time)

So long from Britain for now!

The Clone Tool

This summer I've learned a number of important things about myself.
I've learned:

1. that stuffing envelopes gives me many paper cuts
2. that I secretly like cutting fabric with a hot gun thing
3. that I can't cut the fabric for more than 2 hours at a time, or else my hands burn
4. that I am now a youtube star (or victim, depending on your point of view). (search 'Carry On Display 9x8 ft.' if you're so inclined.)
5. that I have mastered the art of cropping camp photos
6. ...and that the photoshop 'clone' tool is great for editing scandalous junior high cleavage

I've also learned:
6. that I enjoy camp photos. As fast as I go through invoicing and editing the various groups, I take a moment to stop and look at the faces smiling at me from the monitor screen. I see pictures from camps located all over the country on a daily basis, and it is fun to think of all the summer camps occuring at this very moment, in their pockets of forest, all over the world. I often feel as if I'm an intrudor to the camp; the kids are happy (some, however, are not. faces are funny.) and committed to their own little camp world for a week, and I spend mere seconds (usually longer. the longest was 31/2 hours) cropping, saving, and wondering what the dynamics are between the counselors, kids, and overall camp atmosphere. So far this summer the joy of vacation has become my business, my job.

However, the joy of vacation is about to become my job in a different way. In 5 days I'm headed for Oxford, and for the vacation/adventure of a lifetime! I've pledged to hold nothing back; I plan to enjoy every sight, sound, grimy subway seat, beautiful garden, and magestic view to the fullest, to experience it in the company of friends to be, and to immerse myself in the studies of great British philosophers and political theorists of the past. Realizing I am blessed beyond belief to get to have these experiences, I will make the most of every opportunity that comes my way. I may even skip jauntily down some cobblestone streets.