Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Definition Updated.

They say BIC is worth the wait, and they are right. My favorite class in all undergrad is the BIC capstone, wherein we study coming of age novels from Harry Potter to Life of Pi. I've jokingly called this class group therapy, as we read novels and attempt to read between the lines. We write blog posts for every class period on a forum so that each student has access to each other's thoughts. Our very first blog post was to answer the question: Who Am I? Our final post was to answer that question again.

My first post:

"If inner thoughts could exhibit animal characteristics, mine would be that of a squirrel. I am addicted to diet coke and fear I may meet death by aspartame. I believe John Locke was correct in asserting that men are inherently good. I was choked on the playground in the fourth grade for being too bouncy. I am best friends with my parents. I like to leave encouraging notes around the house for them to find; a quick ‘good morning’ in the coffee beans is always a winner. I drive a car with a large hole in the top, and that is perfectly fine with me. I am most proud of my easy-going nature, though I am a true diplomat at heart. If I had to do it all over again, I would change my major, but not my minors. I am self-conscious at my lack of domesticity, think London is a beautiful yet lonely city, and want a freckle tattoo."

My final post:

"I am different than I expected to be.

Less naive, more confident, less judgmental, more cynical. The list goes on and I’m sure I could bore you with all my attributes and faults, but that is not the point. The point is that I am content. I do not believe it possible for people to truly see themselves clearly, as there are so many factors and layers that are not immediately evident on the surface level. I don’t profess to such things. However, I do think I have a decent grasp on my limitations, my interests, my emotions, my determination. I do not have a bad self image, nor do I think higher of myself than I should. I am happy with who I’ve become, and am ready to move forward. My experience at Baylor is ‘rearview,’ as my Dad likes to say. In fact, I must leave graduation early so that I can embark upon my newest life adventure. I am okay with this. Armed with textbook knowledge and valuable life lessons, I am glad to have experienced the Baylor culture. I am prepared to succeed and even better prepared to fail. I am guarded. I am a product of my upbringing and my education combined. I totter on the edge between extrovert and introvert. As with all of us, I am complicated, a conundrum, and cannot be summarized in mere words.

Most importantly, I am the best version of myself."

Sunday, April 18, 2010

Roses the Color of Sunset

There are those days where everything comes together, where one wakes up before the alarm and knows, just feels it in the tip of their toes, that it will be a good day.

today was one of those days.

I participated in Jewel Degree, or otherwise known as the final frontier of ADPi membership before becoming an alumna. It was my last chance to hear juicy secrets from generations past, and I was not disappointed in the slightest. Immediately following, I went to Founder's Day, which is a celebration of the founding of Alpha Delta Pi. Founded on May 15, 1851 by sixteen year old Wesleyan Women's College student Eugenia Tucker Fitzgerald, the Adelphean Society "had for its object the mental, moral, social, and domestic improvement of its members." Now, 159 years after the six founders united under an umbrella of sisterhood consisting of common goals, virtues, and desires, I stood proudly to receive my scholarship and senior recognition. Looking around at the spring dresses and sprightly shades of cardigans, I felt the bittersweet moment; ready to leave, not ready to go. I felt like an alumna.

Last night we had formal. It may have been raining, a small Waco Hurricane. It may have been at a venue that closely resembled a sheep farm. Laura and I may have got stuck in the mud, our heels sinking 3 inches deep the minute we stepped out of the car. We may have made the treacherous journey to the big white house and washed the cakes of mud off our formally-clad selves. We may have laughed. We may have had one of the best formals ever. And we may have had an adventure.

The night was not without casualties, however. Laura's usually pristine white car was transformed into a Dalmatian of mud. Following Founder's Day we went through the car wash. Settling in, I prepared to enjoy one of my favorite life pleasures. We put on Journey's 'Don't Stop Believing.' And there is where I felt it. There, in the car wash with one of my best friends, washing the mud off and listening to 80's power ballads, thinking about the symbolism of becoming an alumna and gracefully exiting something which has been such a monumental part of my past four years, I felt it. Like the car wash, the last events of senior are an opportunity to move forward. To realize that I am graduating in three weeks, and am off to start a brand new adventure. And that no matter what happens or where I go, no matter how much I screw up or not at all, there will always be a car wash to reset, refocus, and to realize that no matter what, the main lesson is to Don't Stop Believing.

My name was read, and I stood to receive my yellow-orange rose and senior gift. The presenter highlighted my college life in thirty seconds:I am an International Studies major, I excelled in these organizations, my future plan is to attend law school, my favorite sorority memory is all-nighters in the chapter room and cutting of the Creeds.

It wasn't until later, experiencing the car wash and Journey and everything in between, that I realized I was wrong. My favorite sorority memory changed to today. It will change again soon. It will constantly change, as will I.


Two days ago I bought cowboy boots.

Yet another defining factor of my identity. Add proud Texas [of four years] to the list. Add ADPi alumna to the list. Add college graduate to the list.

And let the list keep growing.